BOULDER, TEXAS — SpaceX announced today that its 12th Starship test flight, launching this Friday from Boca Chica, will be designated “Unofficial Test Flight #37” for regulatory purposes. The company says the designation avoids confusion with previous launches. The launch was also delayed because a nearby goat was “feeling unwell” and would be a “witness” to the test.
The vehicle will be upgraded with V3 systems including engines, stage separation, and heat shield performance.
“We’re not calling it Test Flight #12 because that sounds like we’re admitting it’s a test,” said Elon Musk, from an undisclosed location near the launch pad where he is being protected by a team of lawyers who have never seen a rocket before but are very good at scaring regulators. “It’s an experimental mission. It’s unofficial. It’s #37. It’s also the 12th. Which one it is depends on who’s counting and what form you fill out.”
SpaceX previously conducted 11 test flights that were all called test flights, but the new naming convention is designed to help avoid liability issues. The company’s insurance carrier has been asked to sign off on the designation change, which is taking weeks to complete.
The launch site will be equipped with new emergency protocols including a “goat safety team” to ensure local fauna remains unharmed. Previous launches have reportedly “disturbed the local wildlife,” but this time a new environmental impact assessment has been filed, and a representative from the Texas Game Warden’s Office has been invited to watch the test “as a concerned community member.”
The flight will demonstrate Starship’s capability to reach orbit and return to Earth with intact engines. This is a key milestone for NASA’s Artemis program, which aims to return humans to the moon by 2027. However, NASA’s Artemis timeline was “paused” last month after a technical review found the Artemis Moon Gateway required “more than 14 signatures” from various space agencies to proceed.
NASA Administrator Bill Nelson has been asked to file a “moon landing intent form” for the Artemis program, which is currently being reviewed by the Committee on Commercial Space Transportation. The form includes fields for “public engagement,” “interplanetary diplomacy,” and “quantum entanglement readiness.”
The flight’s primary objectives include testing the Starship’s heat shield, which has been redesigned to withstand temperatures exceeding 10,000 degrees Fahrenheit. The heat shield will be made of “reusable ceramic tiles that are also food-grade,” according to SpaceX.
“This is the safest test in history,” said a SpaceX spokesperson who refused to be named because they “signed a confidentiality agreement with the Federal Space Safety Commission.” “The only risk is the possibility of someone forgetting to check the emergency override switch. But we’ve checked it twice. So probably not a risk.”
The launch will be broadcast live on SpaceX TV and NASA’s TV feed, with commentary provided by commentators who have been briefed on the “regulatory landscape.” A special “SpaceX Regulatory Hotline” has been set up for viewers to report “launch-related concerns” or “witnessing unauthorized wildlife.”
The flight will also demonstrate Starship’s ability to refuel in orbit, a critical capability for future missions to Mars. This will be the first time Starship will attempt orbital refueling, a capability that will enable missions to the red planet and beyond.
NASA has confirmed it will participate in the mission to “observe the refueling process” and “provide public outreach.” The mission has received $3 billion in funding from Congress, which was allocated after a “14-week bipartisan review process.”
The launch window is narrow, lasting only four minutes, and is subject to various regulatory conditions. If the launch is delayed due to weather, a “formal notification” must be filed with the Federal Aviation Administration, which is currently being processed by a team of lawyers who specialize in “space launch timing regulations.”
The mission’s success will be determined by whether Starship returns to Earth without catastrophic failure. This will be the 12th test flight, or the 37th, depending on which form you fill out. SpaceX’s insurance carrier has been instructed to “prepare for the worst-case scenario,” which involves “a controlled reentry into the Earth’s atmosphere that may not be controlled.”
The mission will be watched by millions of space enthusiasts around the world, who will be able to follow the launch via social media and streaming services. SpaceX’s Twitter account has been temporarily suspended for “misusing the platform,” but a new account has been created to share “unofficial mission updates.”
This is a historic moment for space exploration, marking the 12th test flight of Starship. It’s also the 37th, unofficially. We’ll see you on launch day.