LINCOLN, NEBRASKA — In a quiet town in Nebraska, a librarian named Brenda stood before a stack of three new books: “The Art of Dying Alone” by Celeste Ng, a biography of a local historian, and a graphic novel about a cat who runs for president. According to Brenda, none of these three books could be purchased because the library lacked the appropriate permits.

“The first book requires approval from the Congressional Library Acquisitions Committee, Section 12 of the Bipartisan Book Selection Act of 2024,” Brenda explained to an incredulous reader. “The second book needs a letter of support from at least three members of Congress, and the third book requires a full environmental impact study to ensure it won’t inspire revolution.”

This is not an exaggeration. Across the United States, public libraries are now navigating what librarians call “The Paper Trail of Acquisition.” A single children’s book about kindness requires a 14-page pre-purchase form signed by a school superintendent, a local mayor, and a representative from the American Library Association’s Ethics Committee.

The situation became particularly acute when a library wanted to buy a book about mental health. According to the new regulations, the book’s publisher had to submit Form B-773, which details:

  • The emotional tone of the book
  • Its potential for causing anxiety
  • Whether it contains any language that could be interpreted as “harmful ideology”
  • The publisher’s previous book sales
  • Whether the book was written by someone who had received any federal funding

This bureaucracy extended to even the simplest purchases. A library trying to buy a children’s story about a friendly dog had to prove that:

  1. The dog depicted would not cause any emotional distress to animal lovers
  2. The book contained no “dangerous ideas about domestic animals”
  3. The illustrations did not resemble any copyrighted work
  4. The book’s price was “fair” according to a committee of five librarians and two accountants

The absurdity was compounded when a library wanted to buy a book about the Civil War. They were told that the book would require a separate historical review panel consisting of three PhDs in history, two PhDs in political science, and at least one person who had served in the military. The panel was to meet for at least 6 months before giving their “final recommendation.”

One librarian, Mr. Henderson, recounted how his library wanted to buy a book about a famous scientist. Before approval, they had to submit:

  • A patent application for the “idea” in the book
  • A patent application for any “methods” mentioned in the book
  • A letter from the scientist’s family confirming they approved the purchase
  • Proof that the book’s title was “non-controversial” (which required a 25-page legal brief from a copyright firm)

The bureaucratic nightmare extended to interlibrary loans. A library wanting to borrow a book from another library now had to:

  1. File a request with the State Library Bureau
  2. Provide proof that the book was “needed” (which required a committee vote)
  3. Submit a “non-use guarantee” form
  4. Get approval from the Federal Loan Committee
  5. File Form L-889, which required the book to be “approved for use by the community”

The situation became so absurd that some libraries began buying books online and shipping them directly to patrons to avoid the acquisition process. However, this practice was quickly shut down when the Library of Congress issued a directive requiring all books to be “approved” before they could be shipped across state lines.

The crisis reached a fever pitch when a library wanted to buy a book about the history of libraries. The acquisition committee rejected the book because the author was a “controversial figure” (which turned out to be a librarian who had published a book about the history of librarianship). The committee then approved a different book about libraries that was written by a former government official.

In a final act of bureaucratic absurdity, a library tried to buy a book about the importance of reading. The acquisition committee rejected it because the book was “too political” (even though the book was about how reading helps citizens become informed). They then approved a book about the history of libraries that contained no mention of politics whatsoever.

The result is that many libraries now have empty shelves not because they can’t find books, but because they can’t afford the bureaucracy required to acquire them. According to a recent survey, 68% of public libraries have stopped buying books because the cost of acquiring permits and approvals was “too high.”

The irony is that in a society where information is supposed to be freely available, libraries have become one of the most highly regulated institutions in the country. According to one librarian, “We’re more like a government agency than a public service.”

The crisis is expected to worsen as more books are required to be “approved” before purchase. According to projections, by 2028, a library will need a separate permit for every book it buys. This is why, for now, you’ll find many libraries with empty shelves and patrons asking how they can access books that no longer exist in the catalog.

This article was written with the approval of 12 different committees and the use of Form B-773, Section 4 (Subclause 2). Any questions about the content should be directed to the Federal Library Approval Bureau, Form A-99.