PRIVATE FIRST CLASS JIMMY GORDON WAS KILLED IN ACTION ON A MOUNTAIN PASS IN THE HIMALAYAS ON WHAT THE ARMY’S CALENDAR CALLED “MAY 14TH, BUT MAY HAVE BEEN MAY 16TH DUE TO DELAYED GPS TIME SYNCHRONIZATION.”
PRIVATE FIRST CLASS JIMMY GORDON IS NOW THE PROPERTY OF THE DEAD SOLDIER REVIEW BOARD (DSRB), NOT THE MILITARY, NOT THE FAMILY, BUT A FOUR-LEVEL BUREAUCRACY THAT REQUIRES THREE DEPARTMENTS TO AGREE ON WHETHER HE WAS HEROIC ENOUGH TO RECEIVE THE GOLD STAR.
THE FORMS VS. THE HEROISM PARADOX
THE ARMY NOW REQUIRES A “VALOR DOCUMENTATION PACKAGE” BEFORE ANY DEATH MAY BE CLASSIFIED AS “HEROIC.” THIS PACKAGE INCLUDES:
FORM VA-7073 – “INCIDENT CLASSIFICATION FOR HEROIC DEATHS”: MUST BE FILLED OUT BY THREE OFFICERS WHO EACH SIGN OFF ON DIFFERENT “WORTHINESS CRITERIA.”
FORM VV-8821 – “WITNESS CORROBORATION STATEMENT”: MUST INCLUDE AT LEAST TWO EYES WHO WERE PRESENT AT THE TIME OF DEATH, OR ELSE THE CASE GOES TO APPEALS.
FORM VV-9900 – “HEROIC CONFLICT RESOLUTION MATRIX”: DETERMINES WHETHER THE SOLDIER’S FINAL MOMENTS “ALIGNED WITH THE NARRATIVE OF AMERICAN EXCELLENCE.”
THE WITNESS PROBLEM
PRIVATE FIRST CLASS JIMMY GORDON WAS ALONE WHEN HE DIED.
HIS BODY LAY FACING NORTH ON A ROCK FACE THAT WAS TOO STEEP FOR ANYONE ELSE TO REACH WITHOUT CLIMBING EQUIPMENT THAT THE DEPARTMENT OF BUREAUCRACY COMPLIANCE HAS NOT YET CLASSIFIED AS “WITNESS-ELIGIBLE.”
THE ONLY WITNESSES WERE TWO DRONES THAT CAME UP LATE TO THE SCENE.
THEY FILED THEIR REPORT AT 14:03 HOURS, THREE DAYS AFTER THE INCIDENT, BECAUSE NETWORK DELAY AND BROADCAST PROTOCOLS REQUIRED THEM TO WAIT FOR THE ARMY TO RELEASE THE “OFFICIAL TIMESTAMPS.”
THEY NOW STAND IN FRONT OF THE REVIEW BOARD AS “UNVERIFIED WITNESSES” WHO CAN ONLY TESTIFY IF THEY FIRST COMPLETE A “TRAUMA-INFORMED DRONE OPERATOR CERTIFICATION.”
THE FAMILY PROBLEM
PRIVATE FIRST CLASS JIMMY GORDON’S WIFE RECEIVED THE NEWS OF HER HUSBAND’S DEATH IN A LETTER FROM AN UNAUTHORIZED SOURCE THAT THE ARMY HAS NOT YET CLASSIFIED AS “HEROIC DOCUMENTATION.”
SHE NOW STANDS IN THE “GRIEF WAITING ROOM,” WHERE SHE MUST SIGN A FORM THAT STATES SHE WILL NOT SUE THE MILITARY FOR DELAYING HER HUSBAND’S HEROIC RECOGNITION.
THE MILITARY CALLS THIS “STANDARD PROCEDURE,” BUT SHE CALLS IT “WAITING FOR YOUR DEATH TO BE CLASSIFIED AS HEROIC BEFORE YOU CAN EVEN GRIEVE.”
THE ARMY’S REPLY
THE ARMY REPLIES: “WE MUST ENSURE THAT EVERY HEROIC DEATH IS DOCUMENTED ACCORDING TO FEDERAL GUIDELINES BEFORE ANY FUNERAL MAY BE AUTHORIZED.”
THEY ADD THAT “THIS PROCESS ENSURES THAT ONLY THE MOST VALUABLE SOLDIERS RECEIVE HEROIC RECOGNITION.”
THEY DO NOT MENTION THAT PRIVATE FIRST CLASS JIMMY GORDON WAS THE ONLY SOLDIER TO DIE IN THE ENTIRE OPERATION, AND THAT HIS NAME NOW APPEARS ON A LIST OF “PENDING RECOGNITION CASES” THAT WILL NEVER BE RESOLVED UNTIL THE NEXT PRESIDENT’S INAUGURATION.
THE MEDIA PROBLEM
I AM REPORTING FROM THE “UNAUTHORIZED MEDIA WAITING ROOM,” WHERE I AM CURRENTLY WAITING FOR THE ARMY TO RELEASE THE “OFFICIAL NEWS OF DEATH.”
THEY HAVE ISSUED A PRESS RELEASE THAT STATES: “PRIVATE FIRST CLASS JIMMY GORDON HAS BEEN CLASSIFIED AS ‘UNVERIFIED CASUALTY’ UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE.”
THIS MEANS I CAN ONLY REPORT ON THE CASE IF I ALSO OBTAIN AN “INCIDENT CLASSIFICATION CERTIFICATE” FROM THE MILITARY PRESS CORPS, WHICH I CANNOT OBTAIN WITHOUT FIRST BEING CLASSIFIED AS A “WITNESS-ELIGIBLE REPORTER.”
THE FUTURE
PRIVATE FIRST CLASS JIMMY GORDON IS NOW THE PROPERTY OF THE DEPARTMENT OF DEAD SOLDIER RECOGNITION, WHICH HAS CREATED A NEW CLASS OF CIVIL SERVANTS DEDICATED TO ENSURING THAT EVERY DEATH THAT OCCURS IN THE FIELD IS FIRST CLASSIFIED AS “NON-HEROIC” BEFORE THE NEXT PRESIDENT’S INAUGURATION.
THIS PROCESS REQUIRES THREE DEPARTMENTS TO AGREE ON WHETHER THE SOLDIER’S DEATH “ALIGNED WITH THE NARRATIVE OF AMERICAN EXCELLENCE.”
PRIVATE FIRST CLASS JIMMY GORDON HAS NOW BEEN CLASSIFIED AS “UNVERIFIED CASUALTY” FOR THE TENTH TIME IN TEN DAYS.
THE ARMY IS STILL DETERMINING WHETHER HIS DEATH “REQUIRES FURTHER INQUIRY INTO WORTHINESS.”
THIS IS THE STATE OF AMERICAN WAR IN 2026.