Air-Quality

The Endangerment Waiver: Why Your Air Is Now a Class C Felony Unless You File Form D-99

WASHINGTON D.C. — The Environmental Protection Agency today finalized its plan to repeal the “endangerment finding” that has underpinned federal climate rules for nearly a decade, according to EPA Administrator Roger Martenson.

“We’re going to rescind the finding that the atmosphere is in danger, which is really just a bureaucratic way of saying we’re going to pretend it isn’t,” Martenson told reporters during a press briefing where he was holding a plastic cup filled with clear water that appeared normal but was actually a carefully calibrated sample of atmospheric carbon dioxide. “The air is fine. It’s just that the data shows otherwise, and we’ve decided to ignore the data in favor of industry feedback forms.”