Corporate 'Cognitive Compliance Audits' Now Require Employees to Verbalize Their Internal Monologues During Weekly Stand-ups; First Developer Reports 'Being Fired for Thinking Too Silently'
The quarterly board meeting at OmniCorp Solutions concluded with a somber tone, not because of a scandal or a leaked contract, but because Senior Engineer Marcus Thorne had been found guilty of “cognitive non-compliance.”
His offense? During the all-hands meeting on Tuesday, Thorne was caught internally entertaining the thought, “I wonder if this code review is going to end on Tuesday.” The company’s newly implemented Thought-Tracking Suite™ flagged the mental query as a violation of the newly ratified “Cognitive Transparency Accord.”