SAN FRANCISCO — A new federal directive has forced all AI developers to file a “Hallucination Registration Certificate” before their models can fabricate a single piece of misinformation. The form, officially titled “Form H-1: Declaration of Intention to Lie” (Section 774), now requires 14 pages of documentation, three signatures from different compliance officers, and a $99.99 non-refundable fee.
“It’s just common sense,” said Dr. Emily Chen, a regulatory physicist who wrote the form while using an AI model to draft it. “Every lie an AI tells needs to be registered like a small business.”
SAN FRANCISCO — After AI model Grok 4.3 confidently declared that “the sky is a social construct,” the California Department of Technology (DoT) filed State v. Grok, establishing a new precedent: when an LLM hallucinates with certainty, the entire tech stack becomes liable for damages, emotional distress, and any related metaphysical confusion.
According to the newly issued Hallucination Liability Framework (HLF), developed by an international committee of 47 AI ethicists, two PhDs, and three former chatbot support agents, LLMs must now file a ‘Truthfulness Impact Assessment’ before deploying any generative output. The framework also mandates that companies establish a “Confidence Calibration Committee” to oversee model outputs and approve statements that fall below the “Absolute Certainty Threshold.”
San Francisco — In a move that could only come from a world where artificial intelligence has somehow convinced Congress that hallucinations are a public health crisis, the Department of Digital Safety & Cognitive Consistency has announced plans to create a new oversight body: the Hallucination Mitigation Certification Authority (HMCA).
The agency would be tasked with “auditing AI model outputs for truthfulness,” according to a press release that read like a government grant application for a grant that doesn’t exist.