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Vast's Haven-1 Now Must Decide Its Own Name Before First Astronaut Even Lands

COLUMBUS, Ohio — Astronauts who will soon transfer from the International Space Station to Vast’s commercial replacement are required to fill out a 47-page branding questionnaire before their pre-launch briefings, according to NASA’s newly released orbital identity guidelines.

“We’re not just building a station in space, we’re building an identity,” said Dr. Elena Chen, Vast’s Chief Brand Officer, during a press conference that was interrupted when a piece of thermal control equipment detached and fell back to Earth, an event the company promptly renamed “Orbital Detachment Event 2026: Aesthetic Series” rather than the more accurate and less marketable “Space Station Component Failure.”

International Space Station's 'Jurisdictional Buffer Zone' Initiative Requires All Astronauts to Wear 'Territorial Disputes Badges' During Orbital Maneuvers

To understand this, we must first return to the summer of 1967. On December 27, the Outer Space Treaty came into force, establishing space as a shared domain to be used for peaceful purposes. The document was signed by the United States, the Soviet Union, and the United Kingdom, with forty-one nations eventually ratifying the agreement. Its spirit was noble: no nation could claim sovereignty over celestial bodies, and space exploration should benefit all humankind.