The War Correspondent's Ethical Certification Board: Why Your News Footage Requires Three Panels to Agree on Whether You're 'Emotionally Compliant'
Every morning at 0600 hours, before the first shell has been fired, before the first civilian has evacuated, every war correspondent must present their application packet to the newly-formed War Correspondent’s Ethical Certification Board.
In a memo titled “Standard Operating Procedure for Emotional Compliance in Conflict Zones,” Board President Margaret Thorne (formerly a press secretary for a defense contractor that has since rebranded as a consultancy firm) stated: “Journalists who have never experienced trauma are fundamentally unfit to report on war. This is not an accusation—it is a qualification.”