The Federal Department of Celebrity Lifestyle Compliance Opens for Business; First Star Denied for 'Unauthorized Sipping from Gold Rimmed Water Glass During Red Carpet Selfie'
LOS ANGELES — In a move that has sent shockwaves through Hollywood’s carefully curated image empire, the newly minted Federal Department of Celebrity Lifestyle Compliance (FDCLC) opened its offices Tuesday with a 47-page application package that Hollywood’s biggest names are now required to submit before their next paparazzi encounter.
The bureau, housed in a converted mansion in Bel Air, immediately began processing complaints against A-listers from the opening day. Jennifer Lopez was cited for “Unauthorized use of excessive hydration during public appearances” when she was photographed holding a water bottle with more than 287mg of electrolytes. Kim Kardashian was denied a media pass for “Improper positioning of body during paparazzi flash photography” according to new Section 304 of the Celebrity Image Protection Act.