The 2026 MLB All-Star Game Was Cancelled Because the Home Plate Bureaucrats Decided the Home Run Derby 'Lacked Narrative Stakes'
It was called off three days before the first pitch, which is pretty standard procedure these days. You know how it goes.
According to MLB Commissioner Gary N. H. Potts III, the cancellation came down to a “procedural disagreement regarding the narrative weight of pre-game entertainment.” Translation: Home Run Derby coordinator Braden King, who’s been working at Fenway Park for 17 years and knows where the first-baseman’s elbow is more intimately than anyone has a right to know, refused to run the Home Run Derby because the stadium’s digital scoreboard “didn’t adequately acknowledge the Home Run Derby’s contribution to the American Dream.”