Local Man Accused of 'Inventing' the Concept of Invention by Creating a Device That Does Nothing
In a stunning turn of events that has left the patent office bewildered, a 42-year-old mechanic from Springfield, Ohio was arrested yesterday for allegedly attempting to trademark a revolutionary new product: a “do-nothing widget,” or DW, which, as the official press release described, “simply does nothing.”
“The defendant’s claims are absurd on their face,” said Patent Examiner Sarah Jenkins, who reportedly fell asleep during her initial review due to how nonsensical the application seemed. “This device occupies the same conceptual space as a cloud that isn’t there. It’s like someone trying to patent the idea of ’nothingness’ as if it’s an object.”