I Saw Three Men Yesterday. They Had No Wilderness Immersion Verification Forms.
SEATTLE — I don’t “hide.” I don’t “play hard to get.” I don’t “avoid humans because I’m shy.”
I don’t exist because there’s paperwork missing.
Yesterday, I was moving a family of white-tail deer through an old-growth grove near Lake Tahoma. A man came out of the timber. He wasn’t eating my friends. He wasn’t cutting down trees. He wasn’t even looking at me.
He was holding a clipboard.
“I’m sorry, buddy,” he said. “You’re not on the Species Verification Form.”