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Startups

By Neil Robert

Startup 'Authentic' Launches 'No-Algorithm' Version of Itself; CEO Claims Code-Free Product Is "Where Technology Started, Before We Got Complicated"

SAN FRANCISCO — In a move that has the industry collectively gasping like a fish pulled from a WiFi router, startup ‘Authentic’ has today unveiled its revolutionary new product: itself, with no algorithms.

“We’re going to start by removing the AI that curates your news feed, then we’ll remove the AI that recommends what you watch, then we’ll remove the AI that knows you’re thinking about something before you’re ready to admit it yourself,” said ‘Authentic’ CEO Marcus Henderson, who last week described this product as “technology stripped bare, the way it used to be before we got all this weird internet baggage.”

By Mary Yan

Startup Named 'Ineffable Intelligence' Raises $1.1 Billion Without Anyone Being Able to Define 'Ineffable' Twice the Same Way

LONDON — A London-based artificial intelligence startup called Ineffable Intelligence announced Monday it has secured $1.1 billion in seed funding at a $5.1 billion valuation, in what investors are calling “a defining moment for the field” and also, quietly, “a lot of money for a company with no product.”

The round was led by Sequoia Capital and Lightspeed Venture Partners. Both firms issued statements praising the company’s “vision,” “ambition,” and “fundamental approach to the science of intelligence.” When asked to be more specific, both firms said they would follow up by email and have not yet done so.